It’s been a rough couple of weeks for me over here because, well, we had covid.
It finally hit us. Jeremy got it first from work and then brought it home to me. Honestly, I’m surprised we didn’t get it sooner.
And it’s not even that I care that we got IT. It’s more that just being sick in general, regardless of the sickness, is the absolute worst.
When you live with a chronic illness, any little thing is a setback. It takes me longer to get over a seasonal cold because my body is working that harder all the time.
Thankfully, yes, it was pretty mild, all things considered. But for someone like me, like I said my body is working harder even when it’s healthy, I was knocked out from fatigue. And fatigue is something I deal with daily even when I’m “healthy.”
I’m still not over it. I tested positive for 13 days and am still having to rest for 20 minutes after doing simple activities like showering, making breakfast, making my bed.
So the past two weeks have been a lesson in being.
Which I am so not good at.
Every day is about my to-do list. Things I need to DO. Tasks I need to complete. Actions I have to take.
I’m a business owner, after all.
I have clients who count on me.
There’s video content I need to record.
Emails to write.
Messages to send.
Phone calls to schedule.
Sales to make.
More people to help.
But I can’t do any of those things when I can’t even sit up to take a video call.
Yes, I’m completely bored.
There is only so much TV that one person can binge. There are only so many podcasts one person can listen to with her eyes closed. And there’s definitely only so much reading that can be done because using eyes = fatigue.
Man this email is not meant to be such a downer. Let me see if I can turn it around.
Usually when I am in a place of low energy and unproductiveness, I stress myself out and basically make things worse by worrying and fretting over all the things I’m not doing. About when will I be able to do all the things. About the list that just keeps piling up, getting longer and longer. Every day there’s a new thing that gets added to the list. Every day that I don’t DO something, another thing gets left undone.
It’s a vicious cycle.
I’m not sure what has changed for me—maybe years of experiencing fatigue and coming to terms with my limitations. Whatever it is, there has been a strange calm in me as I let my body rest.
Resting, I knew, had to be the priority.
And everything else?
It would still be there, waiting for me.
Those videos to record, emails to write, messages to send, video calls to take—all of it would just wait while I rested.
And everything would be fine.
The thing is that stressing and fretting about all the things that need doing doesn’t actually DO ANY GOOD other than create more wasted energy in the body, keeping it from resting and recovering.
So I hit pause. Did the bare minimum. And now I am slowly coming out of it.
With this message for you: that sometimes it’s ok to just be. Even if you aren’t sick.
Being is enough.
I’m trusting that by simply being these last two weeks, I’ve still released my energy into the universe in a way that will attract what I need. I have been here, taking up space, resting, restoring. Maybe I haven’t been as visible or vocal as everyone says you need to be when you’re trying to build your business, get new clients, stay relevant.
But at the end of the day, my presence in the world is enough. And yours is too.
If you need it today: it’s okay to just be.